The Rules of Winging
Note: this is written with more of a Night/Social gathering game focus.
A lot of guys think winging is about 'taking the grenade'. It’s not, its more how lions hunt… if you hunt together as a team, you’ll feast.
Sadly, its also a gamble. Add ONE dumb lion & you’ll wish you’d hunted alone.
Like in football, you have to be ok blocking for your ball-carrier, with him scoring the touchdown and not you. Many guys aren't. But if you grow that partnership, together your success rate will exponentially rise to the point you both are scoring touchdown’s on a scarily consistent basis.
The Rules of Winging: (both/all wings must follow)
Golden rule - you care more about your wing succeeding than you care about you succeeding. Follow this and you'll never make a mistake as a wing.
1 - Your wing is the coolest person in the venue. No girl or other guy is cooler. The cooler he is, the cooler you are. You inherit each others social status.
2 - Always face your wing. None of this 'both facing the dance floor checking out girls' thing. You face each other. If there's three of you, form a triangle, etc...
Why?
3 - Because you guys are cooler than the venue. You are there to hang out with each other, not to meet girls. You are having such a great time together you barely notice anyone else around you, not even hot girls.
4 - Look for which girls are checking your wing out - he'll never see them bc they'll look away before. You catch them looking and let him know. He does the same for you.
5 - Don't criticize your wing's game or talk about game while in venue, it will just put him into his head. Focus on having a good fun energy and being friends. Tomorrow you can discuss and correct errors.
6a - CRITICAL - he's always more important to you than any girl. If he is talking to a girl, you face more towards HIM, not towards the girl. If a girl is talking but he starts talking, you turn and pay attention to HIS thread.. If you say something funny, you look for his reaction to it first, NOT the girl's reaction. Don't laugh at her joke if he doesn’t. Don't say too much, let him lead the convo.
6b - This also goes for if you have a girl, you still pay attention to him first, face him more. He's your boy. This is where your wing gets tested... if he's a desperate wing he'll take the fact you are giving him status and looking at him as a chance to impress your girl. If he does that, drop him, he's completely un-trustable.
Any girl he is talking to is off-limits to you, under no condition can you ever have her. So just get that out of your mind. Even if she is giving you every sign in the entire world, the answer is no.
A girl may try to flirt with the wing... not bc she wants him, but bc she is trying to test how strong the wing's friendship is. If she can get a wing to betray his friend and go for her, she knows you two must not be very close, she is validated in her power, and now she's done with both of you. Compete with your wing and you both lose. If she can't get the wing to break, she will be attracted to both of you, to which the wing should look up to the main guy so that she goes for him.
If he's talking to a girl, act like he's slightly cooler than you so the girl will think he's more attractive than you. (If you both are with women, you can both be equally cool.)
Your wing is always right and always funny. You always take his side, no matter what.
Shut up. Don't talk to your wing's girl for more than 15-20 seconds at a time. Let him do the heavy lifting of the talking, look to and listen to him. She may try to engage you and get a convo going with you, be polite but make sure you re-direct that back to him after the polite niceties. Especially if she's hot, it can be really hard to not keep chatting with her... remember, your goal is to get your boy with her, not you.
At times, you may have to 'hold down' your guy's girl for a bit, while he takes a phone call, goes to the bathroom, handles a former fling that showed up, etc... In this case, just think of yourself as the platonic friend. You want to be in the friend zone with her.
Other guys may try to come into your group and block you. Its your job to cover that guy, you need to go over than and start a convo with him so that he leaves your friend and his girl alone. If he is dominating your guy, you need to get over there and verbally gang up on him with strengths in numbers. Don't leave your wing floundering.
Don’t ever 'build up' your guy behind his back to a girl. Don't say stuff like 'Kevin is SUCH a good guy, you're gonna really like him', or 'I can tell he really likes you'. All that stuff does is tells the girl he apparently fails with women so much he needs charity. Treat it like she obviously already sees what you see, that Kevin is clearly the fkn MAN.
He who opens it, owns it. He gets first choice of girl. If you don’t know who that is, its the hottest one. If you dont know who that is, its the one you want.
Never walk into a group of girls your wing has approached without him inviting you in. If you need to, walk by a couple times to see if he will pull you in. If not, bug off. Never barge in uninvited.
If your wing brings you into a group of girls... talk to your wing first and mostly face your wing. Let him introduce you. Then you may proceed to have a regular chatty convo with any girl in the group other than the one your wing wants (assumed to be the hottest one). Be chill, funny, and agreeable. Let him lead. What not to do: face the hottest girl, pay only attention to her and ignore your wing. The whole group will reject both of you asap and your wing will hate you.
Pulling girls - as a wing, your night doesn’t end at last call just because you don’t have a girl. If your wing has a girl, you need to play your role to better help him into the endzone. He’d do it for you.
I find its a LOT easier to pull girls if the wing is the one that sets up the logistics and brings up the idea of going back to someone's place or whatever. This keep the main guys hands clean, doesn't make him appear pushy, and provides the girl the plausible deniability she needs to say yes to the bounce without appearing like she's being too forward with her guy. This also allows the main guy to softly play counter and be like 'idk man, are you sure, I'm kinda tired', the wing finally convinces him and its just assumed the girl is coming too. It helps if, as the wing, you have a slightly higher, playful energy like 'omg you guys both have to come, I'm having sooo much fun I dont want this night to end'. Handle all the logistics (getting the uber, etc...) so he can just keep vibing with his girl and there's no interruptions for him.As a wing, when you, your wing, and his girl get back to the place, you want to create a fun energy for about 30 mins or so. Then you want to slip away and pass out on the couch or whatever, thus isolating your guy with his girl. Anything longer than this and she may get tired actually want to leave. Block for your boy.
If you both bring girls back, whichever one isolates his girl first, make sure you make a whole bunch of noise that way your friend's girl thinks you guys are doing it which will make her feel more justified in doing it too.
Even if you get a gf, you stay in contact and build that friendship. Good wings are 100 times harder to find than women. Every great wing is worth 10-20 +1s.
Pointers - once one of you has a girl, the other should go run game. Then what he can do is bring his girl back to where his friend and his girl are and then the whole thing becomes a crew. If both women are attractive, it will make both of them like you even more. She thinks if you are friends with a guy that gets attractive women, you probably get attractive women (like her) pretty often too.
Every wing has his breaking point. I grade wings by the hotness of the girl it will take for him to start breaking down. I'm not saying outright betrayal, but when a girl is hot enough, he will start looking for her reaction first, forgets to stop chatting with her so you can chat with her, looks to her opinion of things more than yours, forgetting to pay attention to you first and be indifferent to her. Any wing with a breaking point over 9 is a great wing.
Finding good wings - the absolute BEST wings are guys that you see out and about pulling hot girls. The fact that they are used to attractive women means they:
1. they know what women like and are unlikely to say something that turns them off
2. They have attractive girls already so you appear pre-selected
3. They have a very high breaking point because they are already satisfied with their options so they aren't inclined to go for yours.
4. You can learn from them which makes it really easy to face each other and chat during the night.
Signs of bad winging:
1 - They are scared to approach themselves, so they wait for you to approach, then barge in early and uninvited (gaining a 'free' approach). Cardinal sin and a droppable offense.
2 - They secretly are trying for your girl but deny that they are; they dont take feedback and aren’t trying to improve. They just want someone there so they don’t look alone, and will screw you the second it favors him to do so.
3 - They ignore you and only pay attention to the girl you are talking to. They suddenly are dominating your convo (and there's no way out for you bc it will make it look like you guys arent really friends if you blow him out to save your interaction with her). As soon as he does this, it is unsaveable for you bc competing for her attention costs both of you. Let him have it so someone wins, then correct him… if not fixed, drop him.
4 - They always look for the girls reaction first, not yours. They do this bc this is really who they are trying to impress.
5 - When they are getting shot down, they get into a bad mood, then they either bring that attitude into your set, or worse, they secretly try to sabotage your success so they don’t feel as bad about them going home alone.
6 - You try to face your body towards them and they face it away (usually towards the dance floor).
7 - If they get a girl, they peace out without saying goodbye, rather than to stay there and make sure you have a wing.
Remember - a good wing is 10x better than rolling solo; rolling solo is 10x better than rolling with a bad wing.
-Angel
Coaching Consults:
https://buymeacoffee.com/anangelofvm/extras
Link to my Youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/@angeldevenganza
Links to my podcasts:
Excellent 10 out of 10 content and writing. Usually when someone puts the cool guys sauce in writing, it always loses it's meaning...but not here.
A good vibe with wing who had good energy, ethics and some level of attractiveness will get 'em more wins together than they can handle. These kind of guys are rarest of the rare. Once you cross path, make sure you exchange contact info. You both know how hard it is to find guys who don't fall for slightest temptation over long term abundance.